Our Sweet Life
by Marifw
Summary: Set in 1973, so before Ennis' divorce and Mexico and all that. Jack is tired and wants a change. Will Ennis be up to it? Read and see! Slash of course. Rated T because of some swearing.


This is my first Brokeback Mountain fic, and I hope you'll like it. I love the movie, but it always makes me cry. So here's my AU version of how I want it to end. Some of the characters may be a bit OC, but I hope you'll approve of that. It's a bit sappy at times too, but oh well. So please enjoy, and I'd be happy if you would review.

Disclaimer: The characters does not belong to me, they're all Annie Proulx'. I'm not making any money on this, just playing around with my favorite cowboys.

Beta'd by the wonderful katlynn888.

* * *

**Our Sweet Life**

Jack and Ennis were sitting next to the fire, both looking gloom. They'd been on the mountain for five days now, and the parting was coming too soon for both of their likings. The bottle of whiskey that was passing from one man to the other was now almost empty. It was in the middle of summer and the ten year anniversary for their first meeting. Ten years had gone since they first met on Brokeback Mountain. For the past six years they'd met for one week three or four times a year, way up in the middle of nowhere, were no one could see them.

Jack could feel those dreaded tears well up in his eyes as he thought about it. He was sick of it. Sick of having to live a lie, sick of not having Ennis in his life all the time, and sick of driving for 15 hours for some high altitude fucks. He wanted more - hell no - he _needed_ more. A sigh escaped his lips before he once again silenced them with a swig of the brown liquor.

Ennis' head shot up when he heard the light sound from the other man. He could see the unshed tears in Jack's eyes and knew what he was thinking about. It had been on his mind too. _'Ai. Better get'm out of this 'fore it goes any further.'_

"Stop it Jack. I told you this six years ago. Two men living together, it can't be. There's still no reins on this." His voice drifted off as he saw the angry look in Jack's eyes.

Jack sprang to his feet and threw the now empty bottle in to the river. He could feel the anger, pain and frustration built up during ten years boil in his veins.

"I know what you said. I was there remember? Do you remember what you said when I asked for how long? Well, friend, I'm not sure I can ride it anymore."

Ennis could feel his heart beating faster, and his face paled when he heard this. "Whatta ya mean?"

Jack didn't even look at him, he just continued pacing beside the river. "You're so fucking scared, it's driving me mad. I know you think we'll get killed if we live together, but you know what? We can get killed every fucking day, that's just life. Do you know how many times I've fallen asleep behind the wheels trying to get here, or driving home? Do you know how many flat tires I've gotten, and how many people who've stopped to help me, coming at me with tire-irons? We can die today, tomorrow, next year or sixty years from now. No one fucking knows."

Jack stopped his walking for a minute to look at Ennis. The blond had tears streaming down his cheeks, his mouth was open, but not a sound escaped.

"Don't you get it Ennis? If we'd been together, at least I would've died happy. Now I'll just die miserable and angry. I hate my life. I hate L.D., I hate my job. Lureen and I are friends, but that's it. The only good things I've got is you and Bobby. Now, Bobby's being corrupted by his grandfather, so he will soon hate me too, and you… it's not like I got you or anything."

Jack looked back at Ennis at this point. The other man had driven himself back into his shell. Jack could feel his anger returning. He threw his hands up in the air.

"Well ain't you gonna say anything? God, I wish I knew how to quit ya!"

"Then why don' cha?" Ennis croaked out the question, he still didn't have his bearings under control.

"'Cause I love ya, you piece of shit."

The words escaped Jack's lips as a scream, and was hanging between them like a bright neon light sign. Even though both had thought of it, the word had never before been spoken. Jack didn't dare look at Ennis and with another sigh he quickly walked to the tent and laid down. He was sure he had ruined everything now. There was no way Ennis would continue this. Jack buried himself in the blanket and cried silently in to the pillow, too drunk to care if Ennis heard him and too tired to be able to keep them in.

Ennis sat silent as the fire went out. He was shocked to finally hear those words escaping Jack's lips. He had heard Alma say it before, but he had never said them himself. He had never wanted to say it without meaning it, and this was the first time the words had affected him in any way. He felt excited that Jack felt so strongly for him, and dead scared for what this meant for their relationship.

He could hear Jack crying inside the tent and felt sad for causing the other man such sorrow. He never wanted Jack to feel like that, he wanted him to be happy like he was that first summer they met. But Ennis knew that he had seen the man getting sadder each time they met. And he guessed that this was the turning-point. So now what?

Ennis didn't want to live a life without Jack in it. He couldn't picture how that would be like, never having these trips to look forward to. That life was terrible to think about. But living with Jack? Was he ready to do that? Ennis knew that the answer to that was no, he wasn't ready, but he was even less ready to lose Jack totally. For a minute he cursed the other man for making him take this choice, but deep down he knew that he'd had six years to decide.

As he walked towards the tent, an hour after Jack had disappeared inside he still hadn't decided, he just knew that he couldn't live without the brown haired man in his life one way or another. When he lay down behind the other man and wrapped his arms around him, he could feel Jack tense.

"Tell me about it."

Jack had stopped crying, but still felt ashamed for acting like such a girl. When he heard Ennis lay down and felt those strong arms around him he couldn't help but tense, but when one hand started caressing his abdomen, he relaxed.

"About what?"

Ennis held Jack closer to his chest, glad that the other man hadn't drawn away from him.

"Tell me about our sweet life."

A small sob came out of Jack. He had never thought that Ennis would actually want to hear about this dream of his, this impossible dream.

"We'd have a small farm, maybe a couple of hundred acres. We'd have some cows and horses, no sheep though. Just enough to be able to live a good life with no worries about money. We could breed horses you know. I'm a good salesman and you know the animals, we'd be a killer team. We'd have a small white house with no neighbours for hundreds of miles. The house will have four bedrooms, one for us and one for each kid when they come to visit. We'd have a dog and some cats out in the barn to take care of mice and rats. In the yard we'd have some apple-trees and maybe pear-trees. We'd grow potatoes, carrots, lettuce and have berry-bushes. We could put a swing in one of the trees for when the kids come there. It'd be a really sweet life. But most importantly; we'd be together. Living together and working together."

Ennis could feel his heart beat faster as he heard the quiet words from Jack. It was the same dream he had closed behind bars in his heart. Hearing it spoken out loud made the bars start to fall down.

"Where?"

Ennis whispered the one word, but Jack heard him loud and clear. His answer was just as still.

"Last year as I was driving home after our august meeting I saw a sign by the road just before Denver about farm sales. I'd been driving a while and decided to take a break and check it out. There was this farm outside of Boulder that caught my eye. It's near the Rocky's, five hundred acres, most of it forest, a house that needs a lot of work and a one hour drive to the nearest neighbour. I stopped there again on my way up here, and the place is still not sold. The agent said it was too isolated for anyone to be interested. I told him I was interested, but I had to talk to my family first. He promised not to sell it off until I came back. It would be perfect, a different state though not too far from either your girls or my Bobby, a new start…"

Jack's voice trailed off in the end, he decided to end it there before it started shaking. He had seen the house, but the dream was still just that – a dream. Ennis would never go with him, and he wouldn't do it alone or with anyone else. If he bought this place it would be together with Ennis; that was the only possibility. Nothing else would do.

Ennis had listened to Jacks voice with his breath held in. He couldn't quite believe it; it truly sounded perfect. Working on a farm he owned, with horses and a kettle, and the best part: being with Jack. The booze had silenced the voice of his father that always berated him, but even so he couldn't believe the words that escaped him.

"I want that too Jack. Always wanted it. Ever since Brokeback, I think you ruined me for any others. I don' know if this's the liquor talking, but I really want it Jack, just want you to know."

Ennis tightened his hold around Jack and buried his face in the neck of the other man. He was reluctant to loosen it, but did when the Texan started to shift.

Jack was surprised by Ennis' words and had to turn around to look the other man in the eyes. He lifted his hand, put it on the blondes chin and stroked his thumb reverently up and down.

"Why can't we do it then? Give me one good reason, other than you not wanting me to get hurt, and I'll back off."

Looking into those blue eyes, Ennis didn't know what to say. He found then that he couldn't find any reason not to do this. Other than…

"Can't afford it bud, you know that. I don't have a dime I can use on anything other than food and clothes for the girls."

"What if I say that I can? I've been saving up the last ten years. And more the last eight since I started working for Lu's dad. Lu's got more than enough to get by, so I haven't used much of anything since I met her. I've got enough to buy the place and start it, but I need you there to help me make a living out of it. You know I'm useless with that kind of work. I'm good with the money, but you're great with the animals and everyday running of a farm."

Jack was trying to thread easy here, as he knew Ennis wasn't happy with money-talk. He just really needed his cowboy to understand that he was needed.

"You want me to work for you?"

Ennis could feel himself getting angry at that thought.

"Hell no Cowboy. You'll be working for us, we'll be working for us. The place will be ours, not mine, ours. As I see it, you're my partner, not just in business, but in life, and all money will be our money. So yeah, maybe I provided them in the beginning, but they won't be mine. Don't you see Ennis? I need you. I just want to be with you. Nothing more, nothing less."

Ennis tried to calm down, but his head was swimming with too much thoughts and too much whiskey. In the end he just sighed. He knew Jack was right though. He also knew that he would never get the means to buy his own farm, and that this was the only way that could happen.

"I want that too Rodeo. Let's take the night now, and talk some more in the morning. We still got tomorrow up here before we need to go back."

Jack knew that this was not negotiable and quickly agreed. He was just happy he'd got it all out there. That Ennis now knew what he thought. He was even happy he'd gotten the L-word out, even if it was shouted and in the middle of a fight. He'd had those feelings for ten years so it felt good that Ennis finally knew it for sure.

They fell asleep in each other's embrace. The air between them a little cleaner and a tinge of hope in their hearts and minds.

_~breakline~_

When Ennis woke the next morning he could feel that he was alone in the tent. It happened rarely, but from time to time Jack would wake up first. He could hear the telltale signs of Jack cooking outside and smell the egg and bacon.

Ennis rolled over on his back and thought back to their talk last night. He knew that the decision he made now would impact his life more than any other decision he'd made, maybe except for marrying Alma and not following Jack ten years prior. Ennis knew that if he said no to Jack now, he would lose him for sure. And he didn't think he could cope with that. But if he decided to follow Jack this time, he was scared that Alma wouldn't let him see his girls. He knew there was no love between them and as Alma had started working he could see a divorce coming closer. He had no idea what to answer Jack, but hoped that some breakfast at least would help some. And maybe he could even try talking to the other man about his fears and stuff for a change. He was thinking that his father had been wrong saying 'if you can't fix it, stand it', it should have been the other way round, so maybe now it was time to start fixing things instead of just standing things.

Jack was just finishing up with breakfast as Ennis came out of the tent. He poured them both a cup of coffee and waited for Ennis to finish relieving himself before starting to eat. They both were silent, but the silence didn't feel as depressing as it usually did on their last day together.

The day was spent talking, and if Jack was surprised by Ennis opening up he didn't show it. He was secretly very pleased with himself, 'cause he knew he was the only one who was allowed to see this side of the blond. They talked about their fears and their hopes, and in the end decided to go for it. Jack would drive by Denver and buy the place, and they would then use the next month to talk to their wives, get the divorces through and quit their jobs.

_~breakline~_

Ennis was scared shitless as he drove towards Riverton the next day. He still couldn't understand that they were actually doing this. He knew though that it was for the best. At least the divorce was for the best, not only for him, but for Alma and the girls too. Alma was a sweet girl and she didn't deserve the kind of life she had now. And the girls didn't deserve to have parents who fought all the time. And hopefully she would let him see his girls regularly. He didn't think he could live without them.

When he finally got home he decided to just get it over with as he knew that if he didn't he would probably chicken out. And the moment was perfect too; the girls were out in the nice weather playing with some friends. He put his gear on the floor and looked at his wife doing the dishes.

"Alma."

He could see her tense at the sound of her name, but she slowly turned around to look at him.

"Ennis."

Nothing more was said while she dried her hands and they sat down at the kitchen table. Ennis had no idea how to say the things he needed to say, but obviously Alma knew him better than he'd thought.

"I guess it's time, eh?"

"Guess so. For sure ain't good the way it is."

Alma sighed.

"No it ain't. So what're you going to do now then?"

"Jack's buying a farm outside Boulder. I'll work with him there."

Almas shoulders tightened even more with the sound of that dreaded name. She'd known this could happen one day. Ever since she'd seen them doing 'that' six years ago. She'd just thought that Ennis was too scared to do anything about it. It goes to show that Jacks persuasive abilities were bigger than Ennis' fears. In her heart she knew she'd lost Ennis even before she'd gotten him in -63. He'd changed during that summer on Brokeback and it hadn't been until -67 that she'd understood just how much and why. Being a Christian she couldn't consent on what they did, but she knew what she saw, and she saw that Ennis was never truly happy unless he was with Jack. Even though this saddened her, it was the truth, and because she loved him, she wanted him to be happy too. She'd kept his secret for six years, and she would keep it for rest of her life if that was what it'd take to make this quiet man happy.

"You'd want to see the girls I guess."

Ennis couldn't believe how easy Alma was taking this. He'd thought she would be angry at him, swearing and crying, but she just sat there talking quietly and firmly.

"I'd like that yeah. Maybe one weekend a month. I'd come and pick them up, or I could just get a room at the motel and see them here. Whatever you'd like."

"May be best if you started with seeing them here, but I guess you could take them to the farm later on."

Alma could see the relief on Ennis' face. She suddenly understood that he'd thought she would refuse him to see Junior and Jenny. She got overwhelmed with the thought of exactly how much Ennis had to love Jack, if he was willing to risk losing his daughters for the man.

"I would never keep the girls from you Ennis, you're their father, and they need you just as much as you need them."

Ennis could feel his eyes getting wet and had to look away for a second trying to compose himself.

"Thanks Alma. Real nice of you. Can't tell you how much this means to me."

"I know Ennis, I know. Why don't we talk with the girls after dinner tonight, and then you can sleep on the couch until you get some other place. I know you ain't got the money to stay in the motel, and I guess you need to work some weeks before you leave. I'll stop by and get the papers we need for the divorce, so we can write them tomorrow."

"Yeah we can do that. I'll talk to the boss tomorrow. Don' know how long I've got to work there, but two weeks at least."

"Let me know. I'll start with dinner now."

As he watched Alma move to the fridge, he was amazed of how the talk had gone. If he'd known how easy it was, he'd done it years ago. He couldn't wait to talk with Jack. He'd gotten the other mans phone-number and they'd agree that he'd call tomorrow night. He was sure Jack would be surprised when he learned that Ennis hadn't chickened out.

_~breakline~_

The deal had gone through without a hitch, and he and Ennis were now the owners of five hundred acres of forest and farmland, a small house, barn and stable that needed some work and a road with lots of holes in it. Jack still had trouble believing that Ennis had actually gone along with him, and not just brushed the dream aside as usual.

As he parked the car in front of what was not his home anymore he could see that Lureen was still awake. He found her reading on the couch when he got inside. He sat down in the chair opposite her.

"We should talk Lu."

Lureen put her book down at the table and looked back at her husband from the last eight years.

"Okay. Talk."

Jack cocked his head while looking her into the eyes.

"This ain't working anymore. You know, as well as I, that there's no love between us other than that between friends. You married me most to spite your father, and I married you to forget. We can't go on like this. You know I don't like the work, and your father will for sure be happy to see me gone. I miss working with animals, being outside and actually feel like I'm doing something important. I've bought a farm in Colorado, outside Boulder. Ennis, my fishing-buddy will help me make it into a living. If Bobby want to he could come visit during holidays and such, but it's up to him. I could also come down here 'bout once a month to see him. So, what'ya say?"

Lureen smiled a bit as she got up to make herself some coffee and at the same time get some time to think.

"You're right you know. About all of it. You're my best friend, but I don't have any romantic feelings for you. Haven't for a long while. I will miss having you around though. But I guess it's for the best. We'll talk with Bobby tomorrow, I'll also contact our lawyer and have him get the papers ready."

Jack smiled back at her and accepted the cup of coffee she handed him.

"I do love you you know, just not in the way you deserve. And I'll be sure to get a phone at the farm, so we can stay in touch."

"You better do that Jack Twist, I need someone to rant to about the old man."

As they went to bed that night, Jack made himself comfortable in the spare room. He looked forward to talking to Ennis tomorrow, and fell asleep with a smile on his face, knowing that maybe his dreams weren't so impossible after all.

_~breakline~_

Ennis looked at his watch double-checking the time before he went inside the phone-booth and started dialling. The phone rang twice before the other line was picked up.

"Jack Twist speaking."

Ennis could feel his heart beat faster. It was weird how just the sound of Jacks voice could affect him so much.

"Hey."

In Texas Jack was smiling. The dream was looking more and more clear every day.

"Hey Cowboy. Have you had time to talk to the missus?"

"Yeah. Talked to both her and the girls yesterday."

"How'd it go?"

"Good 'nough. The girls were a bit sad, but I guess they are sick of us fighting too. I get to see them once a month, so that's good."

"That's great Ennis. I talked to Lu yesterday, and then we talked to Bobby earlier today. He was cool with it, and Lu was great, so no problems there. Bobby'll come to the farm in some holidays, and then I'll go down here 'bout once a month. Wouldn't it be nice to have all of the kids for new years? Ah well, maybe in some years. Anyway. Bought the land, and even got a discount since no one else wants it, so we still have some left to start buying horses and cows. I've got to work at Newsome's for another two weeks and then I'm off, how 'bout you?"

"I've got two weeks left too. Told the boss I've gotten another job, and he was okay with me going, so I'll be good then too."

Jacks smile was now greater than the Grand Canyon, or at least that's how it felt. Just two weeks more, and then they'd be ready.

"There's this gas station 'bout five minutes before the turn to Boulder. Why don't we meet there Sunday two weeks from now, at three? I guess that'll be enough time for me to get up there. And then we'll drive up to the farm? I've got the keys and a road description so I guess we'll find the way somehow. I'll bring the camping gear as I have no idea how the place looks."

"Sounds good. See you in two weeks then."

"Sure will Cowboy. Bye."

"Bye Rodeo."

As they hung up, Jack couldn't help but let a big yell, probably scaring most of the neighbourhood. It was truly, really happening. Ennis hadn't chickened out, and the dream was now no longer a dream, but a reality. He'd been waiting for ten years, but still those next two weeks would probably feel much longer.

_~breakline~_

The two weeks didn't exactly fly away for either of the men, but finally the day was here. Neither mans divorce had been finalised, but both Lureen and Alma had promised to forward the papers when they were done. The goodbyes had been bitter sweet, and the children had not liked that their fathers were moving away, but now both Ennis and Jack were on their way.

As Jack drove into the gas station he couldn't keep the smile of his face as he saw Ennis standing there smoking beside his truck. They greeted each other with smiles and a hand shake, both knowing that soon they would be able to touch, hug and kiss as much as they liked.

After refuelling they got on the way again with Jack in the lead. They drove through Boulder and continued south towards Eldorado Springs. Before they got there they turned right on a small dirt road leading in to the forest. After about thirty minutes the view opened up to show a weathered down two floor house that once upon the time had been white. There was a stable nearby that didn't quite look fit to house any animal, but at least the barn looked safe.

The two men parked their trucks and stepped out. They stood before the house, both with smiles on their faces. Yes, it was run down, yes it would take a lot of work, but it was theirs, and they would build it up again together. As they stood there, Ennis moved behind Jack and embraced him as he had done all those years ago.

"It'll be a sweet life Jack. Our sweet life."

* * *

That's it, I sure hope you liked it! Anyway. For now this is a one-shot, but I might be persuaded to write more if you want me to. It will take some time though, as I don't have a sequel thought out. But I'll never say never.


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